A bit of morning anxiety

I woke up this morning at 3:30. Not a huge surprise, I am an anxious person, with an anxiety disorder and our life is currently a bit stressful. Also doesn't help that my job requires me to be up by about 4:15am at the latest anyways and there is a switch in me that if I have to get up too early too often my circadian rhythm gets messed up and anxiety attacks will hit me.

However, this anxiety was due to a bit of dreams (which are just a blur now, I waited to long to post), my current employment situation, but mostly my parents. Things have seemed to settle well for them, they are on the wagon and their health has stabilized. It sounds weird I would have an anxiety attack about them when things are going well, but for some reason that is the trigger for me. Evidently I like anxiety on some subconscious level.

I think my biggest anxiety is the fact that my dad's 66th birthday is Monday. I realize he isn't very old, but there health makes them about 10 years older in body then in years. I feel guilty/sad that I haven't "made it rich" enough to support them as they get older. This means I have less time to take care of them like I want. I barely can support my husband, let alone do much more then a food run for my parents. It isn't like my parents expect it, or that anyone outside my own head looks poorly on me (in fact my parents are very proud of how far I have gotten).

I guess it is just a way for my mental issues to rise up and remind me that they haven't left yet.

Things You Should Know has been running successfully for seven weeks. I have gotten great feedback and found I really enjoy this (almost more than video game LP’s). My next step is to add a third regular series of videos per week (my eventual goal is actually four, but I only want to add a single regular/semi-regular series at a time). Right now I am just trying to figure out what to do.

I want to cover things that most people don’t know or aren’t familiar with. I have kicked around the idea of something else historical (maybe a biography of lesser known people, or more recent history bits). I was also considering going into areas I am less familiar with. This would force me to learn stuff and I think that is great. I am considering astronomy (that is awesome), debunking myths, or perhaps teaching a new type of class (much like my accounting videos), even something along the lines of a science, or math type thing.

Before I make any decisions I wanted to ask people who do watch the videos, anyone have ideas? The basic idea is it would have to be teachable in 3-8 minute segments (or be able to be split up among segments), interesting enough that people want to watch and something I can do visually. I love the accounting series but that is about as dry as I want to go with a series. The Civil War stuff is great, especially with some of the pictures I can find, but I wonder if it would have been better to start with something like a more current war, that way video footage would be available.

Either way I wouldn’t start it up for a couple/few more weeks just so I can film up a respectable back stock, I am thinking around May 1st. Let me know what you think.

Shaq Vanilla Cream Soda

Today I am back with my first vlog in a long time (and first one on new channel). Also you get to meet Marmalade.



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